I can’t seem to stop lying. Sometimes it’s stupid things like hiding that I bought a pizza from my dad or throwing away a dish that I let sit around and think it would be too hard to wash. But other times it’s really serious. I met a friend online and I didn’t think we would end up being close. I planned out this whole story about being raped. I honestly have no idea why. Maybe I feel like I didn’t get enough sympathy when things were bad in my life, or maybe I’m not crazy. I don’t want to be like this, I try to stop but I just keep doing these things. I feel so guilty afterwards that it feels like I’ll start vomiting. I’m an awful person and I really want to die sometimes because of all of my stupid decisions like how can someone be this terrible? I just want to lay in bed and cry forever, I’ve told so many lies and now I can’t fix it because telling the truth would hurt everyone so much worse and then everyone would hate me. I don’t know how to live anymore.