Okay so this post migt be too dark for some to read but heres a little bit about myself before i tell you what i did today.
(I killed my puppy)
im 16 years old female and live with my parents, im not working. My parents have been alcoholics as long as i can remember. Recently ive been thinking more and ive always had urges (even as a small child) to emotionally drag a friend down or torture my hamster. I recently got this puppy, right? I had him for two months, wasnt taking him outside, was laying in bed all the time, playing video games, sneaking off to smoke weed. So you can see how that took a toll on my pupp? A month into me having him i would frequetly get frustrated because he would poop on my carpets and my mom always nagged me. My mom is the most coldharted person who used to physocally abuse me and gets drunk pretty much every night. Anyhow that shouldnt mayter im a f****** p************ and what idid was unjustifiable. He was peeing everywhere in the house my mom was quite furious, she dragged it on for weeks. Today this dog just really pushed me off my limit and i lost it. I finally snapped after all of these years of torment. This poor creature did nothing wrong i just want someone to know my story. I dont want it to be unheard. Because this is something i will never speak to a soul. And thats scary. That is forever in my time.
I gave my dog a concussion by slamming his head on the floor while stangling him. He was laying on the floor and every second he would lift his head into the air
i couldnt stand watching this, how couldni do something so fucked? I feel disgusting, i dont feel clean.
Am I crazy? Probably. Either way I broke my own heart i cant stand breathing. In no way did i do this for my pleasure (s*******) i know a lot of people get s******* off of killing things. Ive been looking for forums on what ive been going through, no luck. Why would anyone share sometjign so morbid. If you see this and your situation is similiar. Youre not alone. After realizing what I did i immediatley took him outside. How am I going to deal with this? My parents cant pay for this and theyll send me to a nut house if they even knew. Hes gonna be stuck with this for the rest of his life if i leave him alive the eay he is. What do i do? Kill him.
I choked him and shoved him in a bag and buried him in a closeby field.
No i will never forgive myself for the crime i did
no i do no think my s***** life was a good enough reason to inflict and take my anger out on a poor innocent animal.
I ended up shoving him in my backpack and walked down this train track trail for 30 minutes and dropped him by a creek.
I just wanted to be loved.
I guess Im only stuck with one option
an eye for an eye, am i right?
I promise you, reading this whether you are disgusted in me ( i hope you are)
I will never get pets
its something i feel i will never be able to shange
What makes me think i can take care of a child (puppy) if i can barely keep myself emotionally stable?
Please i am sorry
you have every right to wish me dead.
I want me dead.