So I'm getting with my ex again, and I love her, a lot. She is one of my only thoughts and she's so amazing. I can't be without her. Which that's not the

9 years

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So I’m getting with my ex again, and I love her, a lot. She is one of my only thoughts and she’s so amazing. I can’t be without her. Which that’s not the focus of this. I still like another girl, let’s call her Squid. Squid is way prettier than my girl. And I of course don’t believe looks matter, but she’s just amazing in every way just like the girl I’m getting with. I just feel really guilty even though the girl I have now says it’s okay to think about her or anyone else. I just don’t feel right caring for someone else. (Also, the girl that I’m getting with, we aren’t together yet, in a month and a half we will be.)

New Confession

Taking summer classes this year. After class a nice guy and I go around the building to a wooded area and screw. What will I do at the end of summer class?

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I hate myself so much for my attachment issues. I always hurt the people I care about because I get attached easily and start caring too much. When someone I am so attached to stops messaging back, paying attention to me, and caring, I do crazy things to check if they are online and just ignoring me. I don’t stop until I discover who they are giving all their attention to, and then I’ll start stalking the person they talk to more often than me. It’s way worse when it’s out of the blue, which makes me more inclined to find every piece of information about that person. I know I am in the wrong for doing this, and after the person eventually finds out about this, I panic and pressure them to forgive me and stay. I don’t justify my actions, I do believe I’m weird, creepy, and evil, but I care too much to let the person go. It works a lot, and I feel like a manipulator. I want to stop seeking strong friendships and relationships because I know that in the end, both of us will end up hurt. The harsh reality is that I also go crazy when I don’t have anybody to obsess over. I can never win.