I'm married, and the other night after work I went out wit some of the girls for dinner and drinks. As the evening ended, this guy started talking to me,

9 years

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I’m married, and the other night after work I went out wit some of the girls for dinner and drinks. As the evening ended, this guy started talking to me, and to make a long story short, we ended up making out in the back seat of his car. I wound up giving him a b****** & letting him finger me. Afterward I gave him my cell phone number. Afterward I felt guilty, but when I got home, I was the aggressor and my husband and I made love. It was better than it’s been in years with him. Now I’m dreading that the guy might actually call me, but at the same time, another part of me is hoping he does. I feel like this guy and I have some kind of strong connection, and If he does call, I’m pretty sure I’d wind up meeting him again letting him go all the way with me.

New Confession

Taking summer classes this year. After class a nice guy and I go around the building to a wooded area and screw. What will I do at the end of summer class?

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I hate myself so much for my attachment issues. I always hurt the people I care about because I get attached easily and start caring too much. When someone I am so attached to stops messaging back, paying attention to me, and caring, I do crazy things to check if they are online and just ignoring me. I don’t stop until I discover who they are giving all their attention to, and then I’ll start stalking the person they talk to more often than me. It’s way worse when it’s out of the blue, which makes me more inclined to find every piece of information about that person. I know I am in the wrong for doing this, and after the person eventually finds out about this, I panic and pressure them to forgive me and stay. I don’t justify my actions, I do believe I’m weird, creepy, and evil, but I care too much to let the person go. It works a lot, and I feel like a manipulator. I want to stop seeking strong friendships and relationships because I know that in the end, both of us will end up hurt. The harsh reality is that I also go crazy when I don’t have anybody to obsess over. I can never win.