I have a wonderful marriage with my wife, but I have disappointed her greatly with my financial choices and fear that I may lose her. I don't know why I

9 years

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I have a wonderful marriage with my wife, but I have disappointed her greatly with my financial choices and fear that I may lose her.
I don’t know why I did it. I did not think. I have a good job, a college degree and a family who very much loves me. My parents are still together.
There was simply no need to do what I did. I have stopped cold turkey as of a month ago.
That spiral turned me into a blithering irresponsible adult, a huge disappointment to her and my family, but I think it may be too late. I cry constantly because I know I hurt her and she doesn’t deserve it.
I don’t deserve to be my wife and I do not think life without her is worth living.
I am a huge fuckup and I know I need mental help.

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I really need to pee and I’m nearly making a puddle in my little pants. I need someone to take me to the toilet and wipe my coochie for me. Love Chloe xx

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