I just turned 16 and do know that I am pretty, have a nice shape and notice how the boys started looking at me for more than a year now. My mom works at

15 years

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I just turned 16 and do know that I am pretty, have a nice shape and notice how the boys started looking at me for more than a year now. My mom works at night and is gone by the time I get home from school. There are two younger boys who live next door who I babysat for during the summer when their mom works and now after school each day until about 7pm. One is 9 almost 10 and the other is 12 and I started just by wearing revealing clothes or a bikini around them and their friends. As the sumer went on I began showering at their house sometimes and leaving the door open just enough for them to watch me. I do the same if some of their friends are there and I’m sure maybe 5 or 6 of them have also seen me naked many times. I feel guilty about it and am ashamed for doing it sometimes but it arouses me so much I have started m*********** almost everyday. I pretent I don’t know they are watching me sometimes when I m********* in their mom’s room on the bed and 2 of their friends have also watched a few times. I only leave the door open a few inches and each time just tell the boys I’m going to lay down for awhile. By now they know I am going to be be naked and m*********** when I tell them I’m going in their mom’s room. Most of the time now they are looking in before I even undress. Just disrobing ,knowing they are watching, is enough to arouse me. When I do lay on the bed naked I always expose myself as much as possible and have recently began shaving my pubic hair. Neither the boys or any of their friends ever tell me they saw me naked and I try my best to make it seem as though they are the ones who are peeking in on me. I’m sure they never tell thier mother about it and know she would be furious if she found out. I don’t know what made me start doing this but it just excites me so much I can’t stop. I have had a few boyfriends but I never had s** yet. I did let two of them touch me but that is all so far. When the boys or their friends see me naked I never feel guilty at the time. After I finish m*********** I feel ashamed of what I have done. I keep telling myself I will stop doing it but after a few days begin all over again.

New Confession

I don’t like how people want things done quickly. Just f-ucking let me so them when I want to do them.

Related Confessions

Last year I befriended a guy I met in a hospital. This was new for me but I needed help and barely felt alive. He was from the same city as I and I found him refreshing. He was weird but the boring ones are the scary ones.

After we were both were out of the hospital, within a week I got a letter in the mail. It was from him. We are both from the same city and he saw me near my house. I texted him my phone number. I figured he was safe being he was a good guy and I liked him,

He is even more unstable than I am and I am no saint but I have had past issues abusing and selling drugs and he has various disorders as well. I triggered him by trying to manipulate him and thought he would go away.

I am not proud of this and I know very well he isn’t proud of his part either, We just simply did not mesh which was both his words and I. The thing is we have a lot in common but he’s more open about his problems and I’m embarrassed of mine. That didn’t seem to matter to him and it horrified me that he wasn’t as judgmental as others. I am used to bad people into something when I was the whole time with him. He knew it but let it go. Why!???

In the end, I used and insulted him often and he knew it but helped me over and over and tried to be my friend while I pretended to attempt to be his. Many see him as crazy now being he fell apart in other ways with other people in this horrible city but we are the crazy ones for taking advantage of good people. Ashamed and disgusted with myself yet also afraid I’ll one day be as open as he was with me. What is wrong with me??