It has maybe been 10 years since I first got s******* used/abused by my own father. I was maybe 8 then and now 18 to turn 19. Today was the first time i ever said that to anyone.

My friend had gone through something as a child. I hate that for us both, that’s not something we should have in common. Maybe I hate that more than I hate myself. I think my life is already ruined, it still is going on and if anyone were to ask why I can’t say no- I simply cannot speak when it happens. I go numb and weak and I feel ashamed and I want so badly to just die.

I rather be mourned than pitied or judged.