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I never lose sight of how fortunate I am, and as we ring in the New Year I make note of something good I did in 2024. In November I paid a homeless man $15000 to come to my house and take a bath. I ensured he was the filthiest homeless man I could find, and I also had him fart in the bathtub. When he was finished I paid him the cash for his new lease on life, and he left.

His dirty bathwater was then all mine to drink. I plunged my face into the gray water and guzzled it like lifeblood. While my nostrils filled with a foul stench, the only challenge was controlling my erection from thumping into the side of the tub. I had intended to save some of the water in a warm, humid place, but I couldn’t. I slurped it up and drank it all.

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