Real Life R*** Victim.
I was 14 when I was raped. It happened in my bedroom, right after I got off the school bus and went into my room to change out of my school clothes. I was already out of my jeans and pulling my shirt of, when he grabbed me, pushed me on the bed and in one motion had my p****** off. I was shocked embarrassed and humiliated. I didn’t want him to see me naked like that. My heart was pounding in fear.
While he was undoing his trousers, I jumped up and ran for the door, He was quicker, blocked my way. He shoved me away from the door and he tripped over his half undone trousers. I ran past him, into my parents room but before I could close and lock the door, he pushed his way into the room. He was naked and his erection looked terrifyingly huge.
His erection was way too big for me. It was sticking up and bouncing while wobbling from side to side. I knew I didn’t want that hard thing rammed inside me.
I tried kicking him but he grabbed my ankle and pulled my leg towards him. I fell backwards onto my parents bed. He grabbed me and pulled me close, and I could feel his erection like a hot steel rod against me. I kicked and hit him and screamed at him. He just threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carried me back into my room. He said we needed to do it in my bed so that every night when I went to sleep, I would think of him and remember how he raped me and was deep up inside of me.
I beat him about his head and shoulders. He grabbed a rope from his trousers and tied my wrists together and bound them to the headboard of my bed. My wrists were held above my head exposing my bare b**** which he fondled and explored. He pinched my n****** until they stood up for him. I hated him touching me. He put his mouth on my b**** and bit each erect n***** until I shrieked. I twisted and turned my body trying to get away from him as he pried my legs open. I felt so ashamed and dirty when I realized that I was wet as he easily slide his fingers all over my lips.
I screamed in pain as he pushed his hard rod into me. I squirmed in pain trying to get out from under him. He smiled and kissed me. I turned away and called him a b******. He said he liked a feisty girl as feisty girls make good healthy babies. This threw the fear of pregnancy through me like a lightening bolt as I felt his erection deep up inside me.
As he rammed in and out of me, I hated myself because my body responded to his thrusting. He shoved my pillow under my bare bottom to hold me up higher. He said it helped him get in deeper to get me pregnant. With the pillow he thrust in much deeper. I groaned in pain as I was impaled on his shaft thrust after thrust, deeper and deeper. It felt like his erection was going to going to come out of my chest or throat.
He continue to r*** me mercilessly ignoring my pain and groans. I felt sure I was bleeding from the deep impalement. I just wanted it to be over. It seemed like forever before he spurted into me. I could feel the heat as he gushed into me. I could feel the hot impact as it hit inside me. Much as I didn’t want it, I orgasmed in response to his hot fluid and the pain. He laid on top of me telling I had to hold his c** inside me so it had time to penetrate me and get me pregnant.
He told me that his c** would be absorbed into me so he would always be a part of me. He said I would never be able to get it out. He said his c** would affect any baby I would ever have so even if I had another man’s baby it would be molded by his c** and would really be his. I felt so filthy for having his c** deep inside me. I wanted it out of me as if it never happened so I could be clean again.
I gave up and cried feeling defeated, hating myself and disgusted with the fact that I had an o*****. I was fearing that I might get pregnant. He slowly pulled out of me and I could feel the emptiness inside me as his shaft withdrew. He made me keep my bottom up on my pillow with my legs spread open and pulled up toward my head so his sperm didn’t run out of my opening. He told me if I didn’t obey him he would leave me tied naked to my bed for my parents to find. I sobbed and obeyed him and kept my legs spread wide open while he gazed at my naked body. He took a smartphone from his trousers and took pics of me spread open for him as I pleaded no, please no.
Then he made me taste him as he put his shaft in my mouth to be licked clean. His c** tasted sweet. I licked it clean. I licked the drops oozing out of his shaft. He dressed and said he had to go before my parents got home. He said he hoped I was pregnant. He warned me to keep everything a secret. Then he untied me, he took my p****** and bra and he finally left.
I felt so destroyed, so ruined and so dirty. After he left, I took a long hot shower but couldn’t wash off the feeling of disgust. I never told anyone about the r***. At dinner mom said I was unusually quiet and wanted to know what was wrong. I just told her I wasn’t feeling well.
Every night I went to bed, I relived the r***. The horror of it and my disgust with myself as I fingered myself and got wet just as I did for him. Real panic set in when I missed my period. What am I going to do? What will I tell people? How would I explain I was pregnant? What happens to my life? During the days, I was OK as I went through my daily routine, school, chores, homework.
It’s after I went to bed that I felt the world close in on me. I was desperate, depressed and lonely. I wanted to run into mom and dad’s bedroom and tell them about my nightmare but I couldn’t do it. After a while I accepted the fact that I was pregnant from the violent r***.
I felt like his w****. I remembered the whole thing. How I fled in terror but he captured me. His shaft piecing me while my n****** stood erect and I got so wet. My wrists tied to my bed and the pillow propping me up so he could impale me to get his sperm deep inside. The hot explosion of his c** shooting in me. My own shameful o***** and the emptiness I felt as he withdrew his shaft.
I recalled how he humiliated me making lay there spread wide open for him as he took pics while his sperm swam around inside me. I remember the sweet taste of his c** as I licked it from his shaft. I missed my p****** and my bra that he took from me. I felt so violated.
I started thinking about having a baby. I even had a dream that my r***** was in the delivery room with me. My legs were spread wide open for him once again as I lay on the delivery table about to birth his child. He told me I was a good little w**** and he would always be inside me. I woke up in a cold sweat, horrified. What was I going to do? Where would I go? My parents would be so disappointed in me. Who would help me with my baby?
My period came. It was nearly 2 months late. I was so happy and excited that my life was back to normal. But deep down for reasons I don’t understand, I felt a bit of sadness for not being pregnant. Like I lost my baby.
I still have dreams of lying n*** on the delivery table while my rapists takes pics of me spread wide open for him. He tells me I am his good little w****. He takes close-ups of my opening and how wet I am. I know my wetness will help the baby come out. My n****** are standing up. He touches my c******* and I o***** for him. I wake up abruptly out of breath. I recall how he said I can’t have another man’s baby without it being shaped by his sperm. How his c** will always be in me forever. How I already absorbed his c** into my body.
Every night I go to bed, I relive the violent r***. The horror of it and my disgust with myself as I fingered myself to get wet just as I did for him. I am ashamed but I can’t stop thinking about it, thinking about him. I can’t have an o***** unless I think about him r***** me. I keep clothes pins the drawer beside my bed, which I clip on my n****** to remember how he pinched and bit each one. I even put the pillow under me to prop my bottom up in the air as I spread my legs wide open and finger my wet opening. I remember his sweet taste. I think about how I absorbed his sperm. I think about having his baby. I am disgusting but it’s the only way I can get relief.
He is right, his sperm is still inside me and will always be part of me. What he did to me, how he humiliated and punished me will always be me. The pics he took of me will always be out there. I don’t know who he has shown them to. I worry about who will see them.
When I go out, I see people looking at me and I wonder if they have seen the pics of me spread wide open. I wonder if that is why they are looking at me. Are they thinking: Isn’t that the girl who was raped, the one who got so wet for her r***** and who had an o***** while she was impaled on his erection? Isn’t she the girl who spread herself wide open while her r***** took pics of her n***? She’s the one with his c** inside her She’s the one without any p****** or bra. Isn’t she the girl who wants to have his baby? She’s his little w****.
That is now me. That is what I am. I am his little w****. I dream of him r***** me every night and I o***** for him. I wish he would come back and r*** me again and make me pregnant.
