Ok so I had s** with my stepsister finally. She is short and just a little chubby almost looking but really it’s muscle kinda from sports lol but she looks heavy and she is super shy and self conscious and doesn’t really like she’s always depressed and has sever anxiety and panic attacks and some development disability like she’s mentally more like a first grader like a really really nice first grader who’s very sweet We said we’d keep it secret. I told her it was just the one time and she cried and begged for me so I could t say no. Ok so yea No condom and she liked it alot. She was a virgin in middle school 6Th grade but like for learning disabilities cause she reads like a first grader kinda barely snd literally cannot do math and I’m repeating my Senior year of HS again bc I flunked last year lol. I’d let her hit way too much THC Vape pen last night. She was high AF and had been taking old cigarette butts from an ashtray behind the old Dept Store that’s now a Spirit Halloween store across from our s***** apartment.. it’s funny bc I s***** all kinds of costumes from their trash . Like half her “clothes” are costumes and she don’t know any better lol – that’s why I stole all her socks and underwear months ago so it’s funny bc she’s always having to wear her shoes sockless and was embarrassed without socks bc I had told her she lost them all and forgot them and she believes anything I say but then she cried so then but I told her it looked cooler without socks and that she should just say she hates socks and hates underwear and likes to be free and she’s like yeah smart so like when she moved in after her dad died from lung cancer in hospice where my mom had been his nurse she was gonna move into his trail but then he got sick and my mom has bad long Covid too and is still is a heavy smoker like two packs a day and she said can’t quit. She’s like 40 and smoked everyday since she was 11and she let me start Smoking hell she almost made me start at 13 so she’d have a smoking buddy

It’s weird my mom is never hear now she got a new boyfriend last month and I literally hadn’t seen her since September 10th and she hasn’t returned any of my phone calls or texts and I got power disconnect notice for next Tuesday after a Halloween and a note on the door saying October rent is late ! WTF am I gonna do!?

My cousin Chad told me to sign up for military either Air Force if I can qualify or Navy or Marines if I can’t make AF math standards he said Marines boot camp is way tough so he gave me his old P90X stuff and so I did some push-ups and ran a mile this morning and I got more to do if I want to be a Marine!

Marie Clair , that my step sister, said she think I’d look really cute in Marine uniform and she said I should try out for the marines after New Years if I want – I told her I wanted to sign up now but she soaked herself and said she wanted me with her for thanksgiving and Christmas so she would not be all alone and that she wants to come with me but I have to train for boot camp so I am reading and watching YouTube videos and going to start more push-ups and pull-ups and like way way more running and also some swimming and my stepsister is actually on s swimming team and she said she can take me swimming today to practice and get better bc I can’t really like swim good lol and I know I’m supposed to graduate in a December if I can pass Biologu and English 3 this time I failed last then because k had been really really high and went to the final exam and somehow ended up making out with my English teacher Miss McDowell ? Like she was married and had kid with her man but was getting divorced and after it happened they asked if in s******* I did with her and I said lol I wish and that I’d had a crush on McDowell since she was the Spencer of the JV Lacross team

I only ever played JV Lacrosse for 2 years until stupid Covid cancelled my Junior season and we had practice some and a few games but lost got cancelled so I quit and started smoking weed s d vaping and making cash selling vape stuff on the side and I even had a job last summer at the Tobacco and Vape CBD Store but they moved to a place 8
miles down the higheay and it’s really hard because mom has COPD from smoking and long coveid and she’s 40 y’all but like she so addicted to cigarettes she said she can’t never quit and don’t want to eve though she coughs up black phlegm and blood all the times and is always wheezing and gasping for air and her doctor told her she gonna have emphysema worse and be on oxygen by Christmas if she don’t slow down but she seems like she can’t quit smoking

That’s why she lets my stepsister smoke so
Much I guess and buys her cigarettes and eggo waffles and and jars of Peanut butter form the BX and jumbo packs of nearly expired capri sun

Mom told me my birth dad was 101st Airborne Infantry US Army and that he died in Iraq in 2003 when he was only 23 and she was pregnant with me and still in college – she had been an anti war protestor hippie liberal whatever and had been pro abortion and just didn’t know she was pregnant with me and had partied and drank and smoked the whole time she was pregnant

I was born ok I guess and it was only bc Texas had that heartbeat law I think or maybe just the doctor made her listen to my heartbeat at 14 weeks when she found out why she had been vomiting so much and sick was because she was 3+ Months pregnant!

She wanted to have an abortion

She wanted to abort me

But when she found out my birth dad has been Killed in Iraq she said she couldn’t abort me

So I wasn’t aborted

I told Marie Clair that’s why I was against abortion

She told me when she loves babies and wants a baby

I laughed and said I like kids and she asked how many babies I wanted and I said 4?

She asked if 6 was ok and I laughed and said yes

She told me she wanted to have babies really really badly and that she was ready

I said didn’t she want to wait until she graduated high school

She said no

I told her I was a virgin and had only ever made out with my teacher once

She said maybe that meant we were right for each other

She said

I asked her about birth control and she was like what is they lol

I forget how dumb she is

She can clean house ok

She can cook a can of soup or like make ramen

She lives of Ramen

She likes watching me play video games like Call of Dity

She watches whatever I want on Netflix on my friends account

I have her an old Camo Hoodie last night and told her to just wear that and nothing else to sleep since she was mine now and she smiled really big

She is still wearing is now and naked underneath curled up in my bed

Im looking at the Marine Enlistment Brochure

She begged to come with me but I told her they wouldn’t let her come to boot camp so we have to find someplace if I enlisted

She said she has a Cousin Olivia who’s my age and would let her come stay with her and I said maybe she better check and Olivia is like a freshman at Community College in town and she works at Starbucks as a barista and is all like bisexual and liberal and kinda hot lol but she said it was cool if Marie Clair came
To stay with her after Christmas or New Shesrs if needed

Marie Clair said she would come move in with me as soon as she is allowed Tom and she she made me promise to
write her everyday s d come see her every chance I get and for me to come visit her and not ever kiss any other. Girls and made me promise and I laughed and said girl she’s only 12 and she laughed and said she knows

I feel really weird but also this kinda feels right at the same time ? Like she wants it so bad