Not wearing underwear right now! Lol! Also wearing trainers without socks to the gym lol! They are so comfy! These leggings feel good without p******! I feel almost naked in this sports bra under this zip up light weight extra small woman’s hoodie with the schools mascot on it ! I’m just a new girl freshman here with no friends !! But I feel sexier when I’m not wearing underwear!! Some kinda cute 40 year old dad who I noticed watching me a lot like (ALOT!) (like staring almost stalker ! at the gym ) asked if I did babysitting and asked for my number and I said yes yes YES !!! because it was the first time a MAN ever ASKED FOR MY NUMBER!!! Just yesterday and I’ve started texting him!!! Omg I know he’s not a “boyfriend” because he told
Me he has an ex wife so he has to be careful what he puts in text messages so like he winked and I get that it’s all code and like emojis lol but GOD MY TIGHTS ARE SOAKED RIGHT NOW JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS DAD!!! GOD HES FORTY FIVE ? IM JUST A LONLY FRESHMAN Girl who thought I liked maybe goth girls or b****** girls maybe ? Or like wild high heels and stuff totally not like me but then this MAN showed me what being a woman feels like aand he was inside of me INSIDE OF ME!!! oh my good it felt so good! It felt so sticky and so yucky and so sticky and so nice and oh god I just want to have his babies so f****** bad I could cry and we’ll I did cry because it was my first time ever and I told him I loved him and wanted to be a mommy since I was a little girl and I had always loved playing with dolls and babies and I LOVED babies and I loved babysitting and I had done babysitting all through middle school and even elements school for lots of other kids on the swim team, I was forced to do swim team like from age six all through middle school through last year and even last summer and my stepmom wants me to sign up again as a freshman girl because the super Christian super MAGA conservative Trumpy (?) private school they are sending me to is starting a swim team and has only two girls that have ever swam in a summer leauge and one girl who is a life guard and a pretty good swimmer and also on the soccer team and kinda cute and kinda a lesbian who I think is really cute and she sent me pics of her feet lol like wearing soccer cleats without socks and stuff like that nothing bad but she was a senior and just graduated and she lives like one street over it turns out and I really love her skin and her lips and oh my god she was just SO TAN
SHE IS SO TAN AND SO SHORT AND SO SOFT HER SKIN WAS SO SOFT AND HER LIGHT BLUE EYES CAUGHT THE LIGHT AND WELL I KISSED HER LASTNIGHT AT THECLUBHOUSE SWIMMING POOL!! But now I’m at “Mr. Smith’s” place I think, Jesus like a garage apartment like a mile from the main Park with the football field by the old first baptist church but like it’s really shady here with so many trees and the early morning summer night air is almost cool – not hot yet like it will be but it feels cool on my skin and in my toes and in my hair and I know I told my mom I was going to Casey’s house and okokok I’m “technically” in my same neighborhood and also like 1.1 miles away from Caseys House like her actual house and she knows the drill on what to tell my mom because she has me do it for her all the time when she was “secretly” “seeing” the substitute teacher Mr. Jones last year when we were in eighth grade lol he was so cute lol!!! But he had to leave for some reasons ? I think it was my friend f****** around with him that got him in trouble and the school had to send him away before someone found out and called the police !! But he was cute and like now that I’ve done it and like it feels like I’m flying higher than Jesus right now Al’s also I smoked some cigarettes for the first time like a regular cigarette and a weed thingie joint I guess lol and a menthol cigarette that I really liked more than someone’s strawberry Vape and I tried LOTS AND LOTS OF VAPES!! I vaped all kinds of stuff last night!!! Until like 4am I baked and Vaped THC and Delta 9 and Delta 8 CBD and Gummies and Cough Syrup and I have been throwing up a lot and no it’s not Bulimia but I just throw up a few times every day for the last 47 days and I’ve lots a lot of weight this way like I’ve lost 23 pounds! F****** crazy I know my step mom said I looked really good for the first time like in a two years since my dad died from Covid f****** why Jesus ducking Christ did he have to be so f****** trumpy and into being a Covid denier! He ran a trucking company and was like f*** a mask and he was such a good daddy to me really he was always paying for my Christian private school and always paying for my year round swim team and taking me to lessons and swim practice and swim camps and swim clinics and all that and he would take me to the library a lot too and encourage “balanced” life and said that there were many good peaceful professions like librarian or teacher or nurse that were challenging and so hard sometimes but so beautiful and better than just corporate b******* numbers And boxes and trains and trucks and crates and he would talk about it and drink one beer after another and smoke Marlboro Red cigarettes and drink Coors beer and now that’s what I want to do because I miss him so much I wear his sweater and his old hoodies all the times like they are so big on me because they are L and some XL and I’m like 5ft 2 and 145 now and I feel
So self conscious but I like to wear this L grey Hoodie with nothing under it like literally nothing and not even soccer shorts and then like lol wear sketchers shoes without socks like the slip on ones GOD THEY ARE SO COMFY BAREFOOT!!!! It feels like a dream because my feet are so tender after all that terrible dancing last night in those high heels that gave me awful blisters because the backs were rubbing up against my bare skin and and now k have rubbed blisters all over my feet so I now have f****** bandaids all over my feet which is normal ig lol because my dad also told me at some point maybe a year before he died so I guess summer before sixth grade that cool girls dressed like Taylor swift lol because that’s all he knew and so I just looked at how she dressed and I tried to do that but like cheaper lol like with Target and Walmart brand clothes on sale because like we were so broke after he got out of the Military after he got back from Iraq the second time and he was missing something like he had been hit and had a surgery and my step mom wouldn’t tell me about it and I’ve always felt weird about my stepmom because she’s only like 6 and a half years older than me !? I think that’s right like my half sister is three now and she got pregnant her junior year of high school when I was in fifth grade I think or maybe fourth grade? She had been my babysitter lol and my dad had “fucked her when she was a sophomore lol” and he’d say something like “raw dog” or something gross like that and joke when drunk (which was like every night lolz) about how he never ever once wore a condom ever and he had slept with at least 49 other women besides my mom and all without a condom and he knows at least 6 other womens he got her pregnant and all had daughters he’s said he’d been told and when I think about it I cry so much because like I HAVE SEVEN SISTERS I DONT KNOW!!! HOWNCAN INFIND THEM!?!? I TRIED INSTAGRAM AND GOOGLE BUT INDONT EVEN KNOE THEIR NAMES LIKE ONLY A FEW !! Good lord I didn’t mean that to be all caps this Vape is sos on good god these HOKA One-One Bondi 7 running shoes feel so good on my feet right now ! God it feels so comfy and I just feel so high and upset thinking about how much k miss my daddy and I know he wasn’t right after Iraq the second time and he told me Rangers Lead the Way! All the time and I know he was so tough and strong but I hate that my birth mom is a drug addict like heroin and stuff and that’s why I haven’t seen her in almost 7 years now 7 YEARS IS A LONG TIME TO NOT SEE YOUR MOM SINCE YOU WERE 7 YEARS OLD!!! Just think about that god it’s so messed up and she’s in Jail of course like she has been most of my life because she was I guess like a drug w**** or mule or whatever and she looked vaguely ethnic like could look Mexican or Colombian (what she said she was 1/2 Lopez from I don’t know where!) but she said that made her curvy and would make me curvy and give me good cl”Child bearing hips” she told me that at 7 AT 7 MY BIRTH MOM TOLD ME I HAD GOOD CHILD BEARING HIPS !!! I WAS 7!!! That was like the last thing I remember her telling me before her trial at the federal court because her boyfriend had been dealing drugs and they had been driving around I think Oklahoma and had guns and stuff like maybe a police Glock pistol or something my mom had one from another one of her ex boyfriends who she had my sister Kelly with he was an undercover cop lol like a Narcotic deep cover guy and he said he was “Deep DEEP DEEP” under cover he told me that like lol just over 8 years ago I guess I do remember I was in first grade and riding a bicycle without a helmet and only wearing a big white tshirt from my dad I always slept in and my pink raincoat I loved and wore everywhere and my Pink rain boots without socks and I was splashing around in puddles and got all wet and he told me I wasn’t wearing p****** and I said no sir I wasn’t and he asked why and I told him I didn’t want to and he said good that I shouldn’t wear them and I said yes Sir and he made me promise not to wear any underwear and I said ok and then he hugged me and rubbed my legs and feet and told me to never wear socks and never wear pantyhose and never wear tights that cover my feet unless I’m in ballet and it’s required so otherwise unless it’s required for a uniform he said don’t wear them so like he said since he was also an gym teacher at my church school that it was ok to play soccer wearing cleats without socks if I liked but that if Coach told me to put on socks that I should but otherwise like I don’t wear any and he liked it like that he told me the school I was at was VERY CHRiSTIAN and was ok with me wearing then dress shoes without socks we could wear Oxford shoes or Penny loafers or Ballet flats that were black were amendeded and allowed and it was funny he said because he had been in with the school when they rewrote the dress code back in 2009 or maybe it was first time in 2002 ? when he was right out of college he said and he had been a chaperone some and had stolen some girls socks secretly on overnight trips and then helped rewriting the dress code in 2003 just his second year as an “Un Certified” teacher because he only had a degree in History he said it wasn’t even a BS he said he was too bad at math and couldn’t get into law school and I was confused but so he said he was a teachers and when they rewrote the dress code in 2003 he “omitted” to part about “white socks or black socks” and “white tights or pantyhose or black tights or pantyhose” were both deleted from the “required”’list and like nobody noticed ? Then like he said right before they voted like one funny Jewish looking short lady on the board was like wait this lets the girls not wear socks and he said he told her her was he was like Yes Mam it does. And he said it’s a “Good Modern Dress Code” and said he had taken it off a National Dress a code Pattern for US Doe or whatever Ed thing that he said people used to think was ok back like even maybe 2012’hendaodnb he said that was like when people started to turn and I have smoked so much of this vape d and this THC Vape and I know I’m sitting here on the couch of my coach like and I have his s**** inside me
I HAVE S**** INSIDE OF ME!!! oh my god it feels so good!!! I’m leaning back on the couch now like , I want to keep as much of this funky white stuff inside of me and I even scooped the little splayed splattered parts off my hairs and into you know it just feels so wet and sticky and so yucky and so lovely and so dark and so wet and so moist and so warm and so smelly and so funny and so fuzzy and so tingly and so soft and so tender and so hot and so sweaty and so steamy
Oh my lord my feet are sweating lol I’m these comfy assed Hoka running shoes Coach bought for me and told me to try on for him barefoot like he likes and I did and he told me to get shorter running shorts and I told him I didn’t have any and he said I needed to get some and I told him I didn’t have any money because my daddy was dead from Covid two years ago and my stepmom is on WIC and gets VA benefits and I think maybe she’s on Welfare lol? Oh my God that’s son that’s so EMBARRASSING IM ON WELFAREfML why did I never think of that before I’m on Food Stamps and we’ll EBT cards but yeah ok it’s food stamps
FOOD STAMPS. I’m on food stamps and I have been for 2 years now thanks joe Biden and I guess Donald Trjmlmdid some of that and some like Gkvernment unemployment money lol she said she got some of that and it helped she had been a waitress at like a TGIF like her junior year of high school or whatever or maybe only for a little while and also a babysitter lol and like had formerly been MY babysitter and was then babysitting for my friends dad when she got pregnant and then she became my Step Mom lol like real fast it was I think 2019 and she was 7 months pregnant and graduated high school and had pictures with my sister in her belly when she was only seventeen at the time which yeah yeah that’s legal here and she was Graduating high school and then marrying my dad who was like 2 weeks away from deployment and she had to get her mom to sign the marriage certificate waiver and technically her dad didn’t and she joked that someone could say she wasn’t “legally married” when she’s crying about how much she misses my dad and she’s drinking again and chainsmoking again and crying about how wonderful he was and how much she misses him and I’m crying now too and just thinking about my poor stepmom she’s really a sweet girl and she’s I guess twenty one now ? I know she wasn’t a while ago or last year because she still couldn’t buy her own cigarettes and she had to get an older boyfriend to buy them for her and to buy her wine and margaritas for the fridge and the white claws she loves lOves LOVES FHE WHITE CLAWS. god she drinks them so much and just cries and smokes constantly alone in the little whatever two bedroom apartment flat place she has on the government check from the VA or Military or whoever Army I guess or Special Forces find or something like that for Night Rangers or Airborne Rangers I don’t really know and I feel so embarrassed that I don’t know exactly what kind of RANGER he was but like he was strong and fit and kind and smarter than he admitted and he loved me and he made sure I knew it and he told me to value myself and to respect myself
MY DADDY TOLD ME TO ALWAYS RESPECT MYSELF AND VALUE MYSELF AND TO TREAT MYSELF RIGHT AND TAKEN CARE OF MYSELF ! Put myself First and to Act Rivht and Donrivht and now that I think about it and I’m Vaping so much I know what’s right and what’s right for me right now like right this minute is to keep this Coaches semens inside of me and keep his sperms and to trap his speeds snd sperms and seeds and for them to lay inside of me and get my eggs pregnant and my Ovaries hurt right now and it’s been 12 days since my period and almostn13 and now here I got thinking that ache is me ovulating and I just looked that up last night when after he had put it inside of me and c** everywhere and then passed out and I was so excited reading about it and that’s just where I am right now so and but then other a !!! I guess it worked like I’m going to try to get myself together again lll and go work out some and maybe get some breakfast !!
I want this so bad I can tasted it
