by the grace of god the only app he can contact me on banned my phone number so it had been a little more than two weeks and needing to change my number yet again (all the stalking) to get back on my app. being locked out and five days of ‘no contact’ prescribed by my therapist for abusing and terrorizing me. now, and also after a flat affect from my antidepressants, i’m numb and don’t care. i have no motivation to install my app because the whole thing has just sailed on drifting as if it floated off into space, what is left to try to capture at this point? i’m not sad, but i’m also not anything. its hilarious trollbag attempts that i sit here laughing at that are always nowhere near the truth, close, but not something you would even know because you’re just the scabs people let dry up and peel off and flick away. you don’t matter. your heart is black as you tell lies about people over things you know nothing about. plain dumb. i’ve had my hands in my pockets while i whistle and smile for quite a while, staying with all the people who support me and having a good laugh at those who do not–shaking my head. its not a bad life.
