Kerpal and Sachin Tendulkar spitroasted me at the Delano while Patrick Kluivert and Rick Vandenhurk glazed me & paddled me with a cricket bat, this was for the premiere of Casino Royale on Miami Beach. I was worried about getting AIDS from Kerpal’s fragrant and wooly p****, a thicket reminiscent of Rasputin’s beard. His musk was quite malodorous, and i wondered if the kiss of death poxed his d***. nonetheless, he rode my hershey highway to infinity and beyond, seeding me numerous times over, the curry really churned in me that night. After we went to Lucky Chengs where i was the s*** of honor. Never have i ever been as slutted and nutted as that night.

Clark Hallisey