How do I juggle making so many obligations/ polite pleasantries with people when I work full time over night and have to help take care of my grandmother and carpool with my boyfriend on top of everything else.
I’ve kept my circle small for a reason but now that I’m getting older people just want more and more of you I guess.
For example my grandmothers friends want me to cook for them and want me to go over to their homes to help them with their electronics because my grandmother won’t shut up about how much I do for her, she doesn’t realize how much she brags and how much help she really gets.
I wish I didn’t have to speak to another soul for the rest of my life.
I wish I could just communicate through sign language or telepathy.
I’m so sick of pleasantries! And I am sick of misunderstandings and people who are absent minded.
I’m just trying to chill and help people but on a lowkey basis.
I’m not interested in recognition or marketing myself or my skills.
I just want to live a simple quiet life alone in the woods.
I want to build my own cabin grow my own food and give back to the world the best I can.
Is it too much to ask for people to just leave me the f*** alone?
Even my boyfriend is starting to get on my nerves.
He just seems like deadweight.
If the apocalypse hit tomorrow I would want to leave him behind.
He is a thirty year old child!
But sometimes we just go through phases of miscommunication, I wish he was better at owning up to his own s***.
He acts like a brat when all I do is try to accommodate and go with the flow.
His mom had planned a trip for the three of us to go visit his brother and he canceled on her last minute because she asked us to go earlier than anticipated for him.
And all he had to do was TALK TO HER and say oh hey no I’m just interested in making a quick trip there and back nothing long.
His brother lives three hours away by car so there and back one day is fine.
But no he got all pissy and selfish because he was going to miss out on ‘sleep’.
His mom acts the same way. I swear to god I wish I could smack the both of them.
They are so ridiculous.
Idk how long were going to last.
We have totally different Interests in career choices and he is pretty materialistic for the most part. He’s also stuck up and has poor hygiene he’s selfish in bed and can be pretty ignorant about things. But he’s also calm and nice. He can be thoughtful at times but most of his gestures miss the mark. He colored me a poem and framed is one year for Christmas. I s*** you not.
I’m eight years younger than him and I have to teach him s*** about hygiene, cooking, world news etc. he even has is bachelors! And didn’t even go to college. But whatever. He’s a broadcasting major and I work with homeless kids. So idk could do something there. He’s more like a business partner than a life partner. I wish I could get out of this but I’m too far in. Four years is a long time. Our anniversary is coming up this month and I have no desire to celebrate it whatsoever. Also save your judgmental crap about my relationship choices you only know half of the story. But f*** man. F*** people. I wish I could just die or disappear sometimes. Everything is pretty good but When I lay in bed at night all I can think about is dying and what the end of my life will look like and I’m afraid of growing old and actually doing something. I just don’t want to do anything with who I am now. Maybe that’s selfish of me but I don’t care I didn’t ask to exist or be this person or have the mindset that I do. It’s all crazy and insane. I’ve never been able to really grab life by the balls. I envy people who do. Oh to be so care free. Good luck all. Bye. O
