I had my first one night stand at 43 years old last night and don't know how to feel about It. Been single for almost two years after a devastating

7 years

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I had my first one night stand at 43 years old last night and don’t know how to feel about It. Been single for almost two years after a devastating breakup and couldn’t let myself close to anyone. I must admit p*** became my new friend lol. S** itself was amazing and a person I chose was pretty amazing too. We met by accident and clicked, ended up at my place and stayed The night. I wanted that closeness and craved it. However when I woke up which was pretty late the special someone was gone . We never exchanged numbers lol.
I don’t know how to feel about it as I have always againsted it for religious, moral and value belief I was taught strictly from a young age.

New Confession

I was coerced into posing n*** and touching myself and inserting an adult toy for ten polaroid pictures by my one of my uncles when I was a just a preteen. I never told my parents.

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So I transitioned from a Little Girl to a Woman underneath my mid teen brother while our parents were out at a wedding.
He and I physically engaged with each other about five times during just a bit over a year. We had one close call with getting caught but our parents never found out how active we were. We are both married & neither of our spouses know anything about our history and I intend to keep it that was. He and I never bring it up but I just know that he remembers it as much as I do. So we got away with it.