I just sat there at the very bottom of the deepest part of the pool and I exhaled all the air in my lungs and watched it rise to the surface, and I kept

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I just sat there at the very bottom of the deepest part of the pool and I exhaled all the air in my lungs and watched it rise to the surface, and I kept thinking about things I never want to think about, about me, and my childhood, about the things that were done to me, and for a second I wondered if I’d really die if I just stayed there like that, and I closed my eyes and counted all the way to a hundred and sixty, and then I lost count, and it was starting to hurt. And I was so sad. And even when it was starting to burn really bad in my lungs and getting excruciatingly painful for me to stay underwater, I stayed underwater. I don’t know why, and I don’t know for how long, but it felt like forever. I just remember coming up sometime later and getting out of the pool and falling to my knees and coughing up all the water I’d inhaled when I lost control, and I was seriously trembling. And my sister was hitting me and screaming at me, asking me what I was thinking. She said she was so scared, and that she thought I wasn’t gonna come up, and she kept hitting me and it hurt. But it hurt more when she cried that she hates me. I guess I really messed up. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I feel terrible.

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Is there any one that would take my married Jewish mom on a date
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When I was younger, about 16, I was insatiable and as a result of having my first anonymous hookup with another kid that was 16 (off omegle of all things) I sought to have more.
In this effort I downloaded Grindr and lied about being 18, eventually finding someone who hosted an anon darkroom not even 5 minutes away and who was more than happy leaving their door unlocked and a** ready. After I was invited over and tentatively entered their place I immediately set about u*********, going to nothing in a minute and slowly started up the steps to his room. Once in his room I was approached in the dark by him – a 30-something yr old man who was equally as naked but twice my size – and he reached down and started to blow me once he settled on his knees. Within minutes once I was sufficiently erect I prodded him onto the bed and had him bend over, eventually sliding in without any additional lubrication and begun to – at the age of 16 – f*** this older mans a**. I went for about 20 minutes by my estimation and slowly over the course of the f****** went from doggy, to sideways to having him lie fully down whilst I went to town on him.
Eventually I finished in him and got up and left. Once home I gushed to him about how much fun it was and how I appreciated him taking a chance with me, with some more conversation eventually leading to my age being revealed and – to my own surprise – him revealing that he’d prefer it if we kept going in spite of it. I’d meet him continuously, probably once to 3 times a month or even multiple times in the same week until I moved away at 18. I never saw his face but I remember being inside him so vividly.