How do you effectively punish someone without them losing their self esteem or sense of worth or belonging? Like for example, if a person is arrested at

7 years

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How do you effectively punish someone without them losing their self esteem or sense of worth or belonging?

Like for example, if a person is arrested at his place of employment, he loses all sense of belonging there and probably never wants to go back (even if he was a great asset to the company) or if he does go back, he has this sense of humiliation for even being there.

Is the same true for a child- if he is punished at home, does he feel like he belongs there? If he’s punished in front of his siblings or friends, does he lose a part of his self esteem or worth?

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So I transitioned from a Little Girl to a Woman underneath my mid teen brother while our parents were out at a wedding.
He and I physically engaged with each other about five times during just a bit over a year. We had one close call with getting caught but our parents never found out how active we were. We are both married & neither of our spouses know anything about our history and I intend to keep it that was. He and I never bring it up but I just know that he remembers it as much as I do. So we got away with it.