I’m in college now. I rub a little mint on my clitoris to make it tingle before I masturbate.
It started when I was little and my mother caught me rubbing myself. She pinned me down and rubbed Absorbine jr liniment on my clitoris to punish me. It burned and burned.
From time to time she would grab me and drag me off to my bedroom to be punished for no reason. She would tie my hands behind my back, take my panties down and tie my ankles to the bed posts. Then she would rub my clitoris with liniments like BenGay, Icy Hot, or some hot pepper oil from the kitchen. She would look on and smile as I screamed and begged.
I was very careful to avoid masturbating but I was punished just for her evil pleasure. She also figged me, by putting a piece of peeled ginger root up my rectum and in my vagina.
I finally got away from her after my father and her divorced and I went to live with him.
I guess I never really got away from her because when I masturbate I don’t get any pleasure unless I use a stimulant. When I just need a little I use a mint cream or oil. Sometimes I need more to orgasm and so I rub Icy Hot on my clitoris. I know that I am punishing myself but that’s what it takes to reach orgasm. I have even figged myself.
It would be nice to find a boyfriend here at college who would tie me down and do it to me. It will be hard to explain to him that is what I need. In the meantime I use the mint and if that doesn’t do it, then I resort to the Icy Hot or BenGay. It’s just more difficult not being tied down.
So what do you think? Am I nuts? Will I find a lover who understands?