I am a 44 year old married man. Same woman for 25 years. About 3 years ago, I realized that I am in love with my next door neighbor. Her BF and me are

8 years

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I am a 44 year old married man. Same woman for 25 years. About 3 years ago, I realized that I am in love with my next door neighbor. Her BF and me are good friends. They are both 12 years younger than I am. On NYE, I confessed my love for her and I really thought she would flip out & tell my wife but she didn’t. She said that she has questioned her feelings for me too. At midnight we kissed. My wife and her BF both fell asleep so it was just us outside shooting off fireworks. We have kissed several times since then too and have cuddled together when we are watching a movie on weekends and hanging out and last weekend, I told her just how much I really love her. Her and her BF have 2 kids together and me and my wife have been together 25 years and I don’t want to change any of that. I am really happy that I get to show her affection and still love my wife. The problem is that if we get caught, she will get a divorce for sure and the 2 of them will split up. It would be great because then we could be together and not have to hide it, but at the same time, I love my wife and want things to stay the same. My wife is going out of town tonight with her mother and I have the house alone. We have been texting all afternoon and she is making plans to sneak over to my place. Tonight will be the first time we have s** and I am so excited about it. I love her sooo much and I wanna make passionate love to her all night long and wake up tomorrow holding her n*** body against mine. I can’t believe it is finally going to happen. All I keep thinking about is being under the covers n*** kissing her neck, back & chest working my way down to lick her sweet v***** and then her on top of me her v***** surrounding my member and being in utopia with her, then after we both c**, laying there holding her all night. I feel like a 15 year old virgin getting his first piece. I really love this woman. I know it is wrong but when I have her in my arms her lips against mine, it feels so right.

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When I was younger, about 16, I was insatiable and as a result of having my first anonymous hookup with another kid that was 16 (off omegle of all things) I sought to have more.
In this effort I downloaded Grindr and lied about being 18, eventually finding someone who hosted an anon darkroom not even 5 minutes away and who was more than happy leaving their door unlocked and a** ready. After I was invited over and tentatively entered their place I immediately set about u*********, going to nothing in a minute and slowly started up the steps to his room. Once in his room I was approached in the dark by him – a 30-something yr old man who was equally as naked but twice my size – and he reached down and started to blow me once he settled on his knees. Within minutes once I was sufficiently erect I prodded him onto the bed and had him bend over, eventually sliding in without any additional lubrication and begun to – at the age of 16 – f*** this older mans a**. I went for about 20 minutes by my estimation and slowly over the course of the f****** went from doggy, to sideways to having him lie fully down whilst I went to town on him.
Eventually I finished in him and got up and left. Once home I gushed to him about how much fun it was and how I appreciated him taking a chance with me, with some more conversation eventually leading to my age being revealed and – to my own surprise – him revealing that he’d prefer it if we kept going in spite of it. I’d meet him continuously, probably once to 3 times a month or even multiple times in the same week until I moved away at 18. I never saw his face but I remember being inside him so vividly.