• 3 months ago
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My very first sexual experience was with a man I would spend 8 years with. I was 12 when we met in a chat room and 14 when we had sex for the first time. He was my first and 55 years old.

My parents split when I was a baby. My dad ended up in prison for 20 years for major drug trafficking. My mom left me with my grandmother to live her life. I grew up in a rural deep south town. My grandmother was murdered when I was 14 during a robbery. I was sent to back to my mother to live. Her boyfriend and I didn’t get along so the man I met online sent me a greyhound ticket to Miami to live with him in south beach. He was obsessed with me almost as I was with him. I was instantly in love because no one seemed to care about me as much as he did other than my grandmother. I met him a shy awkward virgin with low self esteem. By the time I was 15, my hips had spread and my breast grew a bit. I had been living with him for a year. He picked everything I wore (which was usually very tight/short/revealing clothes) he chose who I interacted with usually strippers from the local clubs. I was forbid to wear sneakers or flip flops, only heels were acceptable. He was also part of an magical society called OTO which participated in “ritualistic sex magick.” He did hardcore drugs and had sex with me in the most degrading ways (fisting, domination, cattle prodding, group sex and orgys, frequent visits to lifestyle clubs, bondage and more). At age 16 he decided I needed to help pay bills. He arranged for me to be a dancer at a club owned by his friend near Fort Lauderdale. He had many friends in high places including the mayor, top ranking law enforcement and judges. I worked there for 2 years averaging 500-2000 on average nights and for big events or “winter tourist season” I made more. At 16 he paid for various plastic surgeries for me in foreign countries that did not care my age. My breasts went from a full C to a very busty DD. I had a BBL and braces also. All of which was very painful and I was still pressured to sexually please him although I was recovering from surgery. He told me my breast were botched as I had a calcification in my left breast and it did bit drop like my right breast. So I endured another painful foreign breast job to correct that. While in the OTO cult I was pressured to perform sexual acts with men and women as part of the ranking degrees. I performed in many orgys at various “lifestyle” clubs in Florida. Many of the people I performed with were people in high places in this world. Doctors, lawyers, judges, local politicians etc. By the age of 18 I got into the porn industry briefly on and off for 2 and a half years. I stayed in the industry long enough to be nominated for AVN awards. Everywhere I went he followed. By the age of 21 I left the adult industry and spent more time moving up the ranks of OTO. By the age of 22. We had a huge fight because I began to rebel and couldn’t take his controlling behavior any longer. So I left. He tried to call me back a few times but I brushed it off. I still live in FL but at a more rural central FL residence. I have since received about 4 years of therapy and counting. I used to think I wanted all that and therefore I wasn’t a victim of sexual abuse but in reality I was a child from a broken home with low self-esteem and a personality disorder which is perfect bait for such an individual. I am now happily married with 1 child and another on the way and have since obtained my GED and finished all my nursing school prereqs and begin nursing school soon.

All Comments

  • sorry to hear that, but in the end it turned out ok?

    Anonymous January 7, 2019 1:55 pm Reply
  • I think you must report him to the authority. Becuz if you don’t, you will not be his and their last victim.
    Of course you are a victim! Just report him, and leave all the rest to the police.

    Anonymous January 7, 2019 2:09 pm Reply
  • Oh really… what’s your porn name? Should be easy to confirm this one if you were nominated for an AVN award.

    Anonymous January 9, 2019 4:31 am Reply
  • I’m so glad things turned around for you.

    Anonymous January 11, 2019 4:50 pm Reply
  • I am so sorry you went through all that. I know all about OTO — they are a cancer, like everything else Crowley ever touched. But I just wanted to say, because I’m sure you never heard it enough: I’m really proud of you for getting through all that and finding happiness.

    Anonymous January 11, 2019 11:21 pm Reply

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