I’m a female who’s married to another woman. I went to a s********* for the first time last week without her knowledge. She believes that I went to a bar for a few drinks.

While I was there I consumed a lot of alcohol so some of my experiences may be mixed in with fantasy as opposed to truth.

I didn’t go there with any expectations just out of curiosity more than anything else. It was during the week so there was only myself and one other in there plus about 20 girls.

I felt uncomfortable at first, even when the first girl started talking to me I couldn’t help but feel so out of place. As a person I can be quite awkward and say inappropriate things at the wrong time. Then this girl who called herself Jamie-Lee started talking to me.

I know it’s their job to make a ‘patron’ feel special and talk to them and ultimately I suppose it’s to make them spend as much money as they can afford. She did keep saying I needed to pay her if I wanted her to talk me or her boss would tell her to move on.

She talked to me all night about a lot of things, her ex boyfriend, how she used to be a lot bigger than now (she even showed me pictures), things she was interested in, the fact she was bi and so on. I paid her for her company all night she gave me 3/4 dances I think. They all merged into one. It was amazing, I don’t even think I can describe how she made me feel in words. Not only physically but she listened to what I had to say and how I was feeling at the time.

She kept getting told she needed to move on by the staff because I think she was spending too long talking to me. She also kept complimenting me telling me I was funny and interesting and fun to be around.

Since then I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her, just how she made me feel. I am 95% sure that the way she made me feel was because I was paying her. I think I need reassurance that this is the case. That I need to just forget about that night and move on. But there’s this little bit inside of me that’s telling me that she was being sincere and she actually enjoyed my company.

I wish I could just have a chat with her completely sober to clarify what actually happened but I know that that couldn’t happen. I have a lot of mixed up feelings right now and want to know if anyone has ever felt similar.