My marriage is no longer enjoyable
We have been married for 11 years, have one 5 year old daughter that that I absolutly adore and can’t imagine or even want to imagine her not in my life…
BUT
My wife never has been what I’d conside a generally “happy” person. Always negative and feeling sorry for herself, and constently tried to keep up with her sister. In the past few years, I’ve noticed that she has become more and more bitter. She loses her temper easily and often, and when it’s because some something I did ( not make the bed, empty the dishwasher, etc. ) she can and has in the past become verbally and physically hit me before. I haven’t and never would hit her and would never call her names and attack my family like she does me. I’m getting really, really tired of it. I don’t want to get a divorce, but I’m starting to get worn down by the negativity, the attitude, the hitting and lack of interest romanticly and s*******. I don’t know if because I’ve put her feelings and wants ahead of mine that she no longer respects me or what.
All Comments
I’ve been there. Not as far into a marriage with a kid or anything, but the dynamic you and your wife have, I’ve been there. I always figure: If I keep living like this it is inevitably going to end BADLY… all the while you’d really rather not divorce. I just say OK, I’m going to say and act exactly how I want and put my foot DOWN. I will keep doing that and measure change. If change is not impacted after much effort, then you have at least TRIED to live how you can possibly live while happy and probably consider divorce..
ask her why?
Hi,
I may have this completely wrong as you only provide a small amount of information, but from what you say you have been married for 11 years but have a child of 5 years, so I am guessing that the majority of your marriage has been dedicated to bringing up your child and the general duties of managing a home. This is ok if you still leave room for together time.
It could be that your wife feels trapped by everyday mediocrity and that both of you are taking the other for granted.
I think that you need to introduce some adventure into you relationship. Live out some fantasies that will bring back some excitement into the bedroom again. Try to remember from when you met, what were the qualities that you liked best about each other and focus on bringing them back into focus. Try a date night every once in a while. Surprise her with a nice dress and perhaps some sexy lingerie. Try stopping off on your way home and making love in the back of the car or outdoors, it may stir some old passions. Above all be unpredictable.
Best of luck…