I truly feel like I’m clawing out of my own skin over here.

I want to be fucked. I don’t want questions, I don’t want a conversation. Granted, sure, I mean… I’m a lady and all that s***, so I don’t want to be treated badly but I’m so f****** tired of talking. Tired of asking if they’re in the mood, I can’t ask anymore. But sometimes I read books and here are these women who get to feel desired. Like, truly desired. I am complimented, words are said, sometimes I’m touched but it never seems to go anywhere beneath clothing anymore and f****** hell!!! I find this wildly embarrassing but I seriously just want to be fucked. For an extended period of time, for days and weeks, until we’re both tired in a good way. And I have tried communicating this, for days and months, over a year. I am to the point where I can’t comfortably ask. How f****** stupid is that… It’s not as if I’m a damn swamp creature, I don’t understand this. I’m also not an adulteress, despite my many shortcomings, so I am stuck.

It’s f****** annoying and I’m annoyed and frustrated and kind of unreasonably angry but I’m f****** tired of bringing it up, so here I am. I, ***** ******, want to be fucked and I wish I knew what the fuckity F*** to do about that. Self-pleasure is all well and good but it is not the same, not remotely the same.