5 years
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Woohoo, hello again.
I was the one who confessed a few hours ago about being a h**** teen with a lot of confessions. You wouldn’t believe how different I was an year ago. I was the invisible student at school. Or you’d say “Nerd”, as I was mostly seen in the library or with teachers (hey, I was a responsible kid, nothing more!!), or stuff like that. I didn’t have many friends either. The friends- let’s just say that they weren’t nerds, just students who hung out with a brainiac. Yeah, the brainiac is me.
I still am a brainiac, just a little more-concupiscent.
I didn’t have even the slightest idea of what all the teen jokes the people around me made meant. It all started when I received some text in a game I used to play.
I received some texts and pics from someone anonymous on a game website, and those pics turned me on, and a person on the game started texting me. And-ohh, franky, I was tired of being called the “Nerd” at school. I was always excluded from the other people, people’d stop talking whenever I entered. I was sick of being treated like some piece of junk. So, decided I’d try it out. This guy taught me all about it, and suddenly, I learnt stuff. They sounded gross at first, and I was horrified that such things could be done. But once I tried doing it, well, it was-good…
And yes, this might all sound like the movie “Yes, god, yes”. Believe me, I was shocked at how much the incidents were similar. But can’t deny the fact that it’s real.
Enough confession for today, maybe I’ll confess again tomorrow.
Bye bye!!

New Confession

i injected ketamine into my right deltoid and realized i had no water to drink. by the time i was in the kitchen i was dissociated as hell trying to remind myself im a person in a kitchen trying to get ice cubes and filtered water into my tumbler

it hit much much harder than it did when i tried it in my vastus lateralis. i injected nearly 80mg which is over 1mg/kg for me. im still feeling it a little. apparently the comedown is longer than IV but way less than IN. its 3am now and i have some powder and some sterile solution left in the vial to inject into my vein. ive been trying to get the out of body ketamine experience during my trips but still havent gotten there during my last few for a while now even with needles involved. i was a little closer tonight though, without overwhelming my system or anesthetizing myself

i usually take it once every few months or so. i take medication with a needle every week so im used to them but not used to plunging the bigger thicker ones down deep into my muscle like that. the painful pressure feeling is hard to get used to. and the deep ache that lingers for a few days. i got a little sweaty and lightheaded seeing and feeling an inch of stainless steel sink into my body. there’s that animal instinct part of me that doesn’t want to shove metal into myself and cringes at what im doing but another part too that finds fascination in the sensation and resistance to the needle in the different layers of tissue.

i’ve found it fun and interesting to experiment with all the ways of administering this drug and learning more about my body along the way. exactly where the arteries run down my arms or where major nerves might be hiding.

i dont really have something to finish this off with. it was fun, painful, and interesting. the comedown for IM seems to be 2-3 hours long so far. i stayed up very late to do this. i may augment with nitrous next time.

-108

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