I want a 1980’s-90’s era Asian diner waitress of about high school college age– big fluffy hair, soft bangs, skin tight high waisted Guess jeans, one of those denim hip aprons that looks like a skirt from the front, ECT.

I want to be teased, laughed at, and relentlessly mocked by this girl– but in a very calm, smug, smirking kind of way.

I want her to finally press the leg of those high and tights up into my crotch, and just rub me awkwardly until I slime all over her jeans.

The whole time she just keeps calmly insulting me while I beg, laughing to herself and rolling her eyes in boredom– even serenely pouring me a cup of coffee without ever missing a beat.

Then as I explode with a loud groaning cry that I can’t hold in, she gives me a mocking little sneer, one more smugly evil little chuckle– then takes a couple of butter and cream containers out of her apron and casually tosses them on the table, already turning to walk away.

“Enjoy your food, fatty…”