I’m in love with my friend. I’m a boy and he’s also a boy. He turns 18 tomorrow and i’m 17. He’s not the most attractive, but our personalities really fit. I don’t know if he’s into guys but he had a s***** relationship with my other male friend for a few years that ended a few years ago. He’s embarrassing at times but he’s funny and really likeable. He has interests and he knows more than most about particular topics, but he loves to talk about them and doesn’t talk down to people who don’t know as much. He can be a bit abrasive and it hurts; I’m more sensitive than I let on to most people. We had a somewhat flirtatious relationship at one point, maybe i’m imagining his end of it. It’s entirely possible he has no interest in men whatsoever. He has a girlfriend who i’m also friends with. Every time I see them together I get uncomfortable. In reality i’ll never have him but I convince myself that i might. I tell myself our personalities fit together like puzzle pieces. We aren’t similar but we’re good together. I’m not even his best friend. He asked me to hang out over the summer and i said yes but he never followed up. It made me feel like he didn’t care. I feel gross when i’m around him because he’s so perfect to me. Not even physically just altogether. I used to spend half my day fantasizing about him. Once i’m away from him i think i’ll be ok. I keep feeling like there must be some reason i’m crazy for him, this can’t be for nothing right? Well I need to remind myself that it probably is. Although it feels good to think about him and me it’s not healthy and i need to focus my time on improving mentally. I’ve told people about this but no one gets it. I don’t completely either. I think this is my mind craving love in someone who has shown slight interest. I think if i met someone new I could get over him. About 5 more months of misery i guess. I’ve been crazy in love with him for almost two years and i’m tired of feeling like this for someone who obviously could care less.