I'm going to move to Portland, someplace the assholes who used to be my friends want to visit. When they message me to stay at my house, I'll say, "ok."

9 years

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I’m going to move to Portland, someplace the assholes who used to be my friends want to visit. When they message me to stay at my house, I’ll say, “ok.” But when they come into town? Oops! I’m not here.

You wanted to spend a week at my house in a great town? Too f****** bad because you wouldn’t spend a night when you were passing through the s***** town I live in now.

F*** all those guys I loved 5 years ago. I’m not even going to call them when I go there to visit.

New Confession

Multiple times I fell asleep at work and other employees noticed and I felt awkward embarrassed I was angry and I was intimidated I felt uncomfortable I was immature unprofessional I lied I passed judgment against others

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Mary Smith of Fiserv looks so hot. I want her to rest her feet on my face like a footstool and tell me what an ugly loser I am. 😳