I didn’t really love you. I was just caught In a fantasy. I thought you’d be the one because you and me always loved the same things. You made me laugh, cry, angry, happy. You made me feel so many emotions. But I couldn’t give back. Yes, you agreed when things started to get heated. The tension started rising everyday. I thought we were doing well because of the passion. But it wasn’t love, I could only give you the one thing that I couldn’t fake, lust. After one day I was doubting our relationship. I scrolled up to our first text and smiled. As I started to scroll down, I realized that all we ever talked about were lies. I knew that you loved me, and I was satisfied. But I could never say “I love you”. The only time I would say it is when we were done with our fits of passion. I’m sorry that I broke your heart but at the same time I don’t feel much guilt. It was bound to happen and I could never change it. So when I sent my last text saying “Baby do you love me?”, I only needed the feeling of satisfaction, not caring if I broke your heart. As months passed by, I wondered, “is this what she felt like? All of the power in my hands, breaking hearts with just words.” I don’t know why but I felt high and mighty, but at the same time I realized that sin had took over me. So when I met her, I tried to take it slow. Yes, she was the same as you, but much more excited and energetic. So when she confessed I thought about it. I thought about you for some reason and at first I said no. I explained to her what would happen and I told her she’d be in so much pain. But she agreed to love me, for the first time I felt happy, I felt like it was just you and me starting out again. I told her I wanted to take it slow, I would not repeat my mistakes again. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. As our 4th anniversary came up, I started to doubt myself. I felt like she was in my position and I was in yours. She took it too fast and then she kissed me. I couldn’t feel anything, no love came out of it, just disgust. I felt disgust because I was slowly falling in love with someone else. I felt disgust because I realized that I’m repeating my mistakes, I felt disgust because I realized that she fell in love with me harder than you ever did. I realized all of these and I decided to not let it continue, if this relationship was going to end up like my last, than I would end it. But it was hard this time because she was like my best friend before all of this, so it was difficult. What made it even harder is that she replied. I could take it if she didn’t like you did. But she specifically told me “I know that you love somebody else, I saw it” I felt a pang in my heart and I had no guts to reply. But then I asked her how she felt, and then she told me “disappointed”. I felt no sadness after that because like I said, it would be better if I ended it and not let it go to s***. So this is my side of the story, I’m very much interested in yours because I want to understand every single sin I committed. – R