I want to kill my future children over my bodyweight. I’ve been struggling with weight loss and self hate for years upon years. My family pointed how disgusting I am since day one, I dont remember a day that I was not in another diet attempt. I lose some weight but my goal weight is a bmi of 16, so its still a far journey. The problem is that I hate my own body for too long that I’m starting to hate any extension of it. Every single cell. I’m having thoughts of killing my future children. I love children, I just hate the one with my genetic material. I just know they gonna be as fat and distorted ad I am, and they come from the disgusting body of the person I hate the most in the world. I KNOW I want to kill them, I know I would. I know that I am responsible for my own bad thoughts, but I cant say that being tortured with for having a certain body doesn’t affect this rage and hatred that I feel everytime I picture my own family. I decided to take responsibility of these impulses, so I swore never have children to spare them from their eventual brutal murder.