I’m a musician and years ago got some email from a girl I didn’t know from across the country saying one of my songs stopped her from her fifth suicide attempt and it was one of the proudest moments of my life. A couple years pass and she finds and adds me as a friend on Facebook. She still is a fan of my music and I’m happy to see she’s living a fun, healthy life. Aside from that, I hardly ever think of her.
A few more years pass and we get to this summer, where she has been on my mind quite a lot. I admire her strength to move on despite depression/suicidal thoughts and achieve so much and become such a great person. I also must say she is absolutely gorgeous. There are some obvious problems here, however:
– As was mentioned earlier, she lives on the other side of the country.
– She is 18 and I am 22, and I’m worried that age gap might be a little awkward.
– I’ve been in a relationship with someone I love dearly for 4.5 years now.
– I worry that since she is a fan of my music, establishing any sort of friendship with her may be somewhat of an abuse of power, even if unintentional.
It’s not likely to happen, but sometimes I like to fantasize that one day, years down the line, we’ll both be single and living closer to each other, and we’ll be old enough for a 4 year age gap to hardly mean anything, and we’ll finally get to end up together. I usually only date women older than me, but the way that this one came into my life makes me feel a particularly special connection to her, like we’re supposed to find each other some day. Sometimes I even think of messaging her just to say I’m proud of her and she’s in my thoughts and leaving it at that.

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