This is more of a guilt/fantasy/pain.
So, I am heavily involved with a club in my high school. In fact, I am the co-president of said club. Before you read any further – I am 17 years old and have been making my own decisions in the s***** department for just over three years. I am plenty experienced and am not frightened by the idea at all.
The other co-president of the club has began to do something to me that at first I found to be invigorating and s***. AND WOW.
He would, suddenly, come up behind me and grasp my pony tail as if it were a handle. I found myself very turned on my this. He would push me against a wall, slamming my face into the hard brick… He’d have one hand entwined in my hair, f****** it up, making it apparent something had just happened. Then with his mouth he would bite and s*** on the back of my neck, bruising me. He’d take his free hand and shove his fingers into my pants, or up my bra. Squeezing so hard.
On other occasions, he would bend me over a table and pull my dress up, and spank my a**. Hard. It was s*** and frightening at the same time. He would thrust into me, so fast and certain and honestly it was kind of refreshing – having a guy actually KNOW what he wants and HOW TO DO IT.
However – I became uncomfortable with it. It felt rather…r***-y. Him taking what he wanted. Each time he’d pull away suddenly and ask, “Aren’t I a little s***?” I was uncomfortable with that. With the whole thing, actually. I was just so vulnerable and still am to recognize it as a problem. So, anyway, the next time he got me alone, he once again pinned me, and I said, “No, no, no. Stop. Stop, seriously.”
He would continue.
I have objected like this twice, and each time he continues doing as the chose.
The most recent time, I managed to slip out of his hold. I ran from the room he was in. He followed me. “What’s the matter?” He was so nonchalant.. as if nothing had just happened. I told him nothing was wrong and that I just needed to go home.
I am unsure if I should bring this up to him in person. I don’t want it to strain the friendship or the hierarchy of the club.
