I THINK I’M A HORRIBLE GIRLFRIEND
I love my boyfriend of 7months and lost my virginity to him which was a big deal for me and very awkward, painful, and embarrasing lol!. We waited to have s** until dating for almost 3months. he continuously says he loves me and is really affectionate when we see each other. The problem is we went to the same high school but school is out and we both have graduated and are attending universities in different states. we try to see each other at least once a week now before leaving for school but I feel like that is not enough. I think I am becoming less s******* attracted to him and he always has to ask for s**. however when we do have s** we never finish and I’m confused as to if what we have done even counts as “s**” because he gets too tired to finish or is off hard and cant finish. the bad thing on my part is that I did make out with and do some other stuff, NOT S** with 3 other guys during our relationship and so i guess you can call it cheating. I knoww! it was not right which makes me a bad girlfriend and I definitely had every intention to tell him until we had a fight about something else and I realized how mad he gets about me talking to other guys. after the fight he told 3 friends what i said and also told them about out s** life. I’m not afraid of him being violent I just don’t want him to tell his friends and family about it and make me seem like a bad person. I also feel like he wont forgive me and I don’t really want to lose him as a friend. I’ve never had to worry about him cheating its always me. he’s made a lot of changes for me by not smoking or drinking but I drink all the time and do what I want even when he has asked me to stop. I do love him so much but I’m afraid when I leave for school I’ll just cheat on him more and become less attracted to him or even stay with him and possibly just be with him for the s**. but I don’t want to leave him because I think he will start to dislike me and talk about our personal like with others. Comment your opinions or thoughts or questions!!! i would loveeee to hear feedback asap! should i just keep the relationship or make a big step and be single entering college???