when I was a teenager I would j******* to child p***. Tiny little girls that their pathetic dads tricked into sucking their c****. the little girls would smile. they didn’t know. they didn’t know anything was wrong. they thought it was just a fun game.

it;s literally the sickest thing i can think of. I didn’t do what they did but I watched and got pleasure. I dont know why i was drawn there. i was p*** crazy like every little kid but I was sad and alone and scared. my dad was dead & my mom did not love me & she told me my REGULAR desires were poisonous and dangerous and that I shouldn’t look at p*** at all…that I was contributing to all those women being hurt and abused and destroyed. so what was the difference…or something. Maybe I liked their innocence. I *WAS* a child. some part of me got stuck there. some part of me is still stuck there. I feel sick as f*** and want to die. I would never be able to look at that s*** today

but I did it

I want to be forgivennn SO BAD I want to live and be a man and be normal. or if not normal healthy

PLease tell me this is okay. please tell me I’m okay