At work, my incompetent boss is FINALLY being gotten rid of. People in my team are all definitely thrilled, but are also like “oh, he’s a nice guy, he’s just not cut out for the job” and “nobody likes to see someone get fired, especially someone who has a family, kids, and such” and “I don’t actually wish anything bad to happen to him, he just didn’t work out.” Including me.

Truth is, I don’t mean it at all.

I really don’t. The guy’s morbid competence gave me migraine-grade frustration and sleepless anxiety for 6 months, followed by two years of abject depression when I just gave up. On basically everything. I’ve rated “Extremely High” on at least two types of depression on an online depression test (I realize they’re not exactly clinical) on 5 or 6 occasions over the last 12 months since I finally realized what was happening to me. I haven’t eaten a vegetable in 2 years. I’ve worn the same jeans and sneakers every day for 2 years. For the last 12 months, I’ve shaved maybe once a month, showered maybe every 7-10 days and had two haircuts. Because there seems to be no point putting in any effort at all. Any time I’m not at work, I’m at home holed up in bed. I’ve spent two years living in a black hole of despair. But finally there’s a light.

I don’t care if he winds up living under a bridge. I don’t care if he can’t feed his kids. I don’t care if he vanishes from the universe entirely. In fact I’d be happier if he did. Just leaving and never coming back is a start, but not exactly my ideal. Because I’ve lost two f****** years of my life due to this shithead, because of his inability to retain the most simple of concepts, make even the smallest decision, or look at you with anything other than a vacant stare of incomprehension. And it’s still going to take still more time to dig myself out of this hole, even when he’s finally gone.

So, I actually do hope bad things happen to him. I hope he’s never employed ever again. I hope he gets hit by a car or bus or something. Because the way the industry works, I may encounter him again at some point through some other company or a conference or something. To the extent that I will now have to maintain a watch over where he goes, bookmark his LinkedIn page (I would never link myself to him) and such, so that I never apply for any job anywhere near him. And because anybody who ever has to work with or for him is in for the worst professional experience of their life. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Except maybe him.

But, I will keep telling people otherwise. Because I don’t want them to think I’m a bad person.