On the way back from the beach I was sitting in the passenger seat, my best friend since birth driving and my boyfriend in the back. I’ve always loved my friend like a brother but there’s something more than that. He put on a rubbish song called ‘Sleeping With A Friend’ and I think I felt my heart break.

Most awkward car ride in the world. I could feel them both looking at me the whole way home and I just pretended to nap.

My boyfriend is aware I’m not in love with him but I think he hopes I might change. We have everything in common and it’s so much fun to hang with him. I don’t have any female friends.

But he’s not him. The thought of him has never kept me awake for hour and hours with an ache in my chest. His life is not intertwined with mine like my friend’s is. The memories aren’t there that make the other relationship so unique and close. I love my friend in the worst way, he’s always in my thoughts, my life, the thought of not seeing him sends pains shooting across my chest. I’d give my life for him.

Why can’t I leave my boyfriend for him?