I’m sorry I got married to a guy that doesn’t trust me.He hasn’t trusted me before the wedding, during the wedding ( after the wedding , he was saying that i was looking weird at a guy that was my ex 6 years ago ..)or after the wedding.I don’t know why I did it , knowing that he doesn’t trust me.I thought getting married will reassure him, I thought this would change things for him and he would feel like he has nothing to worry about, being married and all.it didn’t. And each time when i see someone, even if it is my friend for lunch during work, whom i haven’t seen for 2 years, and he is in the same committed relationship with the same girlfriend for 5 years, and now expecting a baby, and he still ” suspects” that i had something with him, or even hide things from him now…
I want to be loved, respected, trusted.I want my interests to be at least respected, when i told him last night how i enjoy reading now ( we moved to another city recently), and he knew i enjoyed this in the past but for some reason stopped reading before,his comeback to my happy statement ” i am so happy i got my mojo back and i am already at my 2nd book in a week” he said ” oh , you’re that bored that you started reading??” in the kind of making fun because he doesn’t get how you can relax while reading and he has to make fun of it and patronize it…i feel humiliated and ignored,why is it so hard for him to accept me the way i am and respect my passions and hobbies and just encourage me to pursue them??
it feels like i am between divorce and staying in a frustrating marriage.I feel lost 🙁