I beat myself shitless. I punch my arms and I bite my fingers and I slam my head into the walls and i scratch my face and I cut my arms and I cry every night. I’m such a f****** b**** for wanting anything. I am a worthless s*** who only cares about s**. I’m a dirty w**** who wants to be pleasured. I am worthless. Why do I want this. He told me to never want this. I hate him. I wish I was the one who killed him. I wish he hadn’t committed suicide so I could rip out his guts for making me this way. When I finally commit suicide, I’m gonna make him pay. I’m gonna haunt him in hell. I’m going to make him feel the way he made me feel. I will never be happy. I will never be happy. I will never be happy. I will never be happy. I will never please myself again. I will never be pleased. I might even sell myself out to strangers, but with a twist. I won’t even sell anything. They can have a dirty wretch like me for free. I don’t care. F*** you.