I'm a horrible person. I know I am. It isn't even arguable anymore. I make promises I know I can't keep. I tell great advice, that I myself can't follow

2 months

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I’m a horrible person. I know I am. It isn’t even arguable anymore. I make promises I know I can’t keep. I tell great advice, that I myself can’t follow through. I know I don’t deserve it but I still crave pity and empathy from others. I know better than anyone else that killing myself would honestly make the world a better place and yet I still selfishly cling on. I don’t want to die, but I won’t feel at peace until I do because only then will I truly have paid for all the pan I’ve caused others. I’m so f****** sorry, zainab. I beg you, stop caring for someone like me. Someone who can’t improve regardless of how much I tried. I’m unredeemable. But you are. Please. Please. Please. I love you and that’s why I’m begging you for you to run away from me and never never never look back, even if I cry for you to come back. You deserve the world. Not the monster I happen to be.

New Confession

I went to the beach yesterday and made a discovery.
I went on the bus and then onto the beach for an hour and then back on the bus. There was plenty of young girls everywhere and I came to this conclusion.
The girls on the bus in short skirts were more attractive than the girls on the beach in bikinis. Some of those were wearing bikinis that were almost not there at all and they were sort of so almost naked that it was a turn off.
The girls on the bus in short skirts were beautiful, sometimes it’s better to see legs and b** cheeks and let your imagination do the rest.

Related Confessions

For years my sister and I would hold our brother down and hurt his balls so much that he would cry for mom to come save him but she not once made us stop. My sister would force his underwear out of the way while I would knee him and she would hit him. It was fun and it REALLY turned me on but as an adult I have a kink now about getting my v**** and c*** smashed the same way. I really want my brother to do it to me as revenge since we’re grown up but I don’t know what it would take. I’ve let him see me in my p****** quite a lot and even tried taunting him but he doesn’t seem interested in it. I don’t know what it takes to get guys interested in that.