I stuck my fingers up my own a** to stimulate myself I enjoy the pleasure of a*** m*********** as I mean it was wrong and I dont know if God will ever forgive me or help me along the rode also I have been wondering about my s******** since the longest now it all started when an ex betrayed me with another girl that was her
best friend and ever since. Tht.
day I always been afraid I might and will do the same thing she did. So it has really been in my head for the longest now weather am gay or not that relationship really scar me and hurt me a lot it seems when even I pray to god or jesus no one came to my aid and even when at my lowest I consider suicide to make the pain of betray and the thoughts of being gay go away god wasnt there he left me and its sad to me now that not one day has it gotten better for me so I ask why god left me and didnt help me and let this happen to me what is the point y . I wish someone help me when I consider suicide and the thoughts of weather am gay or not disappear y . Y it all happen would all those tears and sad depressed days and nights be worth it. What does he have plan for me. It he wanted me to turn gay well I can fight it even though girls are always who I like and dated I just never imagine me with a guy than with a girl. But he has a plan I guess but whatever I guess its meant for me to go gay. And its gods plan anyway right. Just would like it if someone could help me in my situation explain . Help me talk to me help me feel better and what not or whatever. Well I guess it all happen for a reason
right. But yeah if u would like to comment would like to heard. opinions. I guess good luck with me or not weather am a f** or not time will tell or maybe I should go and explore or something. Who knows what will happen with me just wanted to get this off my chest kind of and share my experience and story with you guys

day