After proving to my parents that I can support myself and show a semblance of a fulfilling life, I’m going to leave this world. It’s the least I can do after everything that I’ve put them through. Sure, I’ve been clean for 2 years and will stay clean until then, but my sponsor and therapist are convinced that they can change my mind. What they don’t understand is that there’s always been the feeling of complete emptiness, no matter the amount of personal success and growth, friendship, therapy, s**, oxycodone or heroin, nothing fills that void… and I’m just so tired pretending. Another 10 years at least, just a little longer of pretending until I can finally rest. One day at a time, one day at a time.
