It’s been several months and we’ve broken up, but I confess this: The hot, exotically gorgeous female friend of mine who you hated, called a s** worker, and thought I was f****** but I denied it all the time?

Yes, I was. Most weeks, not a little, either. She loved the s**, and sticking it to you because you talked s*** about her. You never knew that hot “s** worker” had more of her sweat on my bed than you ever did, and I spent more on Christmas on her than you.