I’m ordering my first binder today, this is one of my first steps towards a real
transition. Nobody knows but maybe that’s best, I love my family. My brother,
but it’s my mother I’m scared of. My dad won’t understand it but he would be
accepting, My brother will be more than accepting and supportive but I can’t risk my mom
finding out. She tried so hard to have a daughter and she thought she finally got one,
I fear how she might react when she finds out she didn’t. That instead of a daughter
she got a son instead, a son who doesn’t like dresses and skirts, a son who like to cut
his hair then let it grow just to inevitably cut it again, a son who isn’t her “Miss Molly”.
But a son who wears long shirts and pants, a son who likes suits and ties over skirts and
low necklines, a son who wears nothing but boots and high-top sneakers not flats.

I’m a boy, a boy named Michael.

I am proud of my identity yet hide it out of fear, maybe people
would be accepting.

But I won’t risk my life to find out.