(cont) I mean all of it, I guess. Do you know what intergenerational trauma is? Do you or anyone you know have a mom, maybe, who experienced abuse or a natural disaster, or a grandma who lost someone in a war, and then they were never quite right and they ended up hurting, directly or indirectly, their kids?

Black people are just people, we get PTSD like anyone else, we are as fragile as anyone else. My grandma was used to people being dragged out and killed in the middle of the night for stuff like trying to open a store, or vote. She had to file past a busload of people to sit in the back because they said people like her were filthy and white ladies shouldn’t have to smell them. Her siblings died when they were ill because black people did not have, and could not afford, a doctor. I remember she laughed at me for thinking that they could have seen a white professional.

My dad watched a friend of his die from an overdose in front of him when he was 14. They were dumb kids, alone in a stairwell somewhere, and drug use (and other forms of parasuicidal behavior) were everywhere. When he was growing up, black kids were steered into manual labor jobs (or imprisoned). I’ve seen his school records. I don’t think it would be easy to think much of yourself in an environment like that. He seemed resentful and confused, much like you.

This stuff leaves marks. From slavery and segregation all the way down to present day. It ripples.

Anyway, because you are probably quite young (12-19?) and I’ve had these interactions a lot and know how they go, I will say outright: Hey, I’m not saying any of this is your fault or that you did it. You certainly did not. No guilt desired.

As a starting place I’m asking for a little compassion and respect for the dead. They had a hard time of it and they did a lot. You can keep disliking people you know in person.

tone of this is gentle and humorous. be well kid