I will never say this to anyone out loud but since I’ve decided its going to happen I need to get it off my chest.
Met a guy. Fell in love. Oops I’m prego. Things were so good though, we both had good jobs and had our shot together. I was 9 months pregnant when I found him cheating on me with a h*****. Literally had nowhere to go with my three animals so I stayed there. I was also f****** terrified having my first baby and did not know what to do. Post Partum depression x 10, you f****** bet man. I hated this guy with my whole soul, I have never felt this much hatred in my entire life. When the babes was 5 months, I said f*** this and moved in with a friend. Douchebag met a girl and started dating her, posting it all over Facebook, and making my life hard. One day I dropped the baby off and I tried to hang myself and ended up in the psych ward. I found out about his new girlfriend right after. Then both of my cats died. I was in the worst spot of my life. My living situation was getting harder and harder, and douchebag wanted to get back together. He broke up with his gf and me and the baby moved back in. He’s “so in love” and “trying so hard”. I’m literally here because I have to be. My child deserves to have a good life and until I can provide that I will stay where I am. But This hatred drives me every single day. When I feel so depressed I don’t want to get out of bed I do anyways, and I take my online class to get an at home job so I can watch my baby and make money. Trust me when I say I will ruin this man’s life. I cannot wait to have him trust me more than anyone. Im going to wait until he’s vulnerable and I’m going to rip his f****** heart out and feed it to pigs. I made a mistake by trusting someone and I’ll never do it again. He took away my experience of being a first time mother. Something that’s as supposed to be beautiful was horrific. One day Chris. One day you’re going to get all of this karma and I’m not even going to have to do that much. But until that day I will lie and tell you I love you and smile so you trust me, that way it’ll hurt more. F*** you chris.