I keep having these thoughts about r***** or s******* assaulting people especially women, it doesn’t exactly arouse me but then it sort of does I get some sort of sick pleasure from it, like the feeling of revenge. The thoughts just kind of pop into my head when someone does something mean or annoying, it’s horrible. I think want to hurt people who hurt me on like a spiritual psychological level. I am a woman and have always thought rapists deserve to die, now I want to kill myself, and these vile thoughts just keep coming up like vomit. I feel so disgusting, I hate myself for having these thoughts. I wish someone would beat me to death.
