Some days I feel nothing. Like I don’t want to leave my room. Like I have no energy to do anything. It’s like my bed is the only place I can feel

4 years

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Some days I feel nothing. Like I don’t want to leave my room. Like I have no energy to do anything. It’s like my bed is the only place I can feel comfortable. I always feel exhausted for no reason and like it’s a chore to simply get up and go to the bathroom. I hate feeling like this. I feel so lazy and like I never actually do anything. Some days I really just want to be alone. To where I feel like I can’t deal with social interaction. I hate going to crowded public places. It makes me feel like I can’t breathe and that I’m about to pass out. I hate that feeling too. I just want to be able to do normal things like normal people. Some days I don’t want to be lonely. And, if I am I feel like I’m not needed. Like I don’t deserve other people’s attention. But, I hate my mindset aswell. The thoughts I have. Just the intrusive thoughts that linger. Sometimes I listen, sometimes I try to ignore. But, one thing I know for sure. I’m not mentally stable.

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At the beach this week looking at all the sweet asszs, titz, crotches in swimsuits. Makes me so hornay, my peen so hard. Do whack a do

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When I was younger, not the youcaler and there’s a girl that used to live up the street from me, I used to go over to her house and play with her in her backyard, and 1 day you were out there playing and her mom and dad came out and said you 2 need to come in before it gets stormy out and people flip them, it didn’t seem like it was going to get stormy out, but we went in anyways and we went down in the basement. Her father had a camera set up and a couch there in a chair. And he told us to sit down and we did and total death start taking off our clothes, and we did get completely n***, and he was taking pictures of me n***. Her father started playing with my c*** and looked over at her mother and they where playing with one another then also sudden her father open up my legs and looked down on me and started sucking my c***. He wife said Sam are you video taping this. He shake his head yes and said he taste very good. Then he lifted my legs up high and he put his c*** inside me. He slowly put it all the inside me and bring it all the way back out. He kept doing that for a couple of hours .he told his wife to get the camera up close and when he pulled out of me a lot c** came out. He must have c** inside me a lot to have that much c** coming out of me. We did it again the next day. But this time he was really pushing it deeper inside me and we did different precision , and he was still shoving it in so deep. He did this a lot that hole day. He was calling me his son too. Then he asked me son do you like it when I f*** you. I said yes daddy. But all this time my mother and father was watching him f*** me like that from the other room. He would f*** me and c** inside me so much and video tape him and me having s** together. One day my mom and dad wasn’t there because two other men fucked me. I know he was charging them to have s** with me and taped all of it.He did this time after time and my mother and father weren’t there. One time there was 5 other guys there and they all took turns f****** me. They all came inside me and there was all kinds of people watching. Time after time there were all kinds of men f****** me. It was like they had a party and these men would f*** me good.