for the past months, i convinced myself that i am in the process of healing but last night, i relapsed. turns out, i am far from getting better in fact, i think i’m getting worse and no one around me knows the situation i am in. i lost all sense of emotions, i stopped feeling hungry, i just don’t give a cent about anything in general and it’s so scary. i feel like a stranger to my own body, it’s like watching a car crash on a hill slope and there’s nothing i could to stop it. it’s like my switch has been turned off, i no longer attempt to end things because i started embracing my misery. i guess i’ll forever stay this way.