I have a alternate Facebook account that my wife doesn’t know about. It has a fake name but all of my pictures are real. Some of the pictures even include family. I have just crossed the threshold into my 30’s and I hate my very existence. My days are so full of depression that I don’t really feel any other feelings. The only reason I made the alternate Facebook account is to play the stupid games. I have always written anonymously online, sometimes getting published on legit sites under a fake name. This would give me a very minimal amount of joy in life. I have written thousands of pieces that I have never shown anyone for fear of judgment. I have contemplated suicide on many occasions and tried with no avail on fewer occasions. Recently I decided to try and friend people on this alternate Facebook. One of them accepted my friend request, she was a 18 year old girl from the Philippines. I started to try and friend people from her friend list. A lot of them from Japan. They are women in their early to mid twenties; very beautiful Japanese women. They see the pics and friend me; telling me that I am very handsome with beautiful children. I don’t have any personal info on the page really but I started sharing my writing. I say that some of the stories are actual reality from the embellished life that I present to them. They find me very intriguing. I don’t really know where I am going with this but I do wish I was in my fake Japanese life rather than this one. I have even started to pick up the language.