At the age I fell in love with him I didn’t know what it meant to have a real connection with someone. All I knew was to get the attention of older men to please my needs and theirs. I took drugs and did many things I regret. But I wish that when I saw him last the feelings I had for him did not come back because I know they are not real. They are not real emotional attachment I have not reason to have become attached to him. But when I saw him all I could think was I can’t look at him I was horrible to him I have to run but I still love him.