My wife is probably 75 pounds overweight. Our s** life has dwindled down to nearly nothing. I do not in any way feel like it is my fault or responsibility to get her to lose weight. Been there, done that. In the end, if she wants to lose weight and feel good about herself, she has to make that decision. My stepping in to drive that process would only be twisted into a guilt trip when it did not work that I hadn’t “tried hard enough” or “cared enough” to make it work. Everything gets twisted that way and I won’t be the villain anymore. She’s a health care worker and has no regard for counselors or therapists, even though, based on her family dynamic, she could really use one. Meanwhile I just plod through life, wishing for brief moments of connectedness (not physical, ever) with other people to make my life more interesting than being with this guilt-monger all the time. She tortures me and our kids with this 24/7. Point of fact, were she just overweight and not a mind-fu@&er also it would not be as bad. But she’s both and that s****.